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HARDTRAILZ

Moderator
Carries around pocket full of jelly beans he throws at old people when driving.
 

Redbeard

Well-Known Member
Purchased a tea towel and dish rag for his mother this Christmas with a tag that says "enjoy your new washer and dryer."
 

HARDTRAILZ

Moderator
Enjoys bologna and jelly sandwiches
 

Mooseman

Moderator
Wants to fix his breaks.
 

Mooseman

Moderator
Doesn't drive in reverse because his tires are unidirectional.
 

Shaw520

Well-Known Member
Once used the phrase "peruse through the myriad".
 

Blackwater

Well-Known Member
Presses the Auto Pilot button on the dash and a blow up doll pops out of the steering wheel.
 

Blackwater

Well-Known Member
Hopes that one day we will go back to six volt electrical systems on automobiles.
Honestly, I'm partial to 24V systems.

Installs a fog horn on the TB to make other drivers feel they being trailed by a large ship while driving in the fog.
 

HARDTRAILZ

Moderator
Gets in fights with old ladies to prove he is a tuff guy
 

Blackwater

Well-Known Member
Likes to disguise as old ladies. That's where we met.

In my defense, HE/SHE hit me first.
 

Shaw520

Well-Known Member
just makes up sh*t so he could be in the thread,.. via post #2289
 

Blackwater

Well-Known Member
His motivation doesn't make up for his lack of intelligence.
 

Blackwater

Well-Known Member
Has a high tolerance level for many things…Except Stupid.
Being a veteran, I have acquired the ability to wait for hours, clean anything, repair most anything, acquire and redistribute items. Dealing with stupidity was not one of them. Even now this foreign military wants my civilian *** to move my Civilian Car to look like my other two colleges in the grass where we park. Grass hasn't been cut in weeks and is grown up, trash and cigarette butts everywhere and they're worried the Colonel might say something about three civilian cars? If I was the Colonel, that may not be an issue unless it is a parking lot with painted spaces.

Uses Christmas lights to light up the wheel wells of his TB.
 
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Shaw520

Well-Known Member
Uses his juvenile veteran status in an attempt to impress his minions.
 

Blackwater

Well-Known Member
Admires men in uniform, PT uniform.
 

HARDTRAILZ

Moderator
Pees every time he sees a cop
 

Blackwater

Well-Known Member
Pees every time he sees a cop
You know if that was true, I pee a lot. First responder

Grow his beard out to audition for the Soggy Bottom Boys.
 

Redbeard

Well-Known Member
With his ball and bat in hand he walked to home plate in an empty baseball field.
He threw the ball up in the air and announced, “I am the best ball player ever!”
He swung with all his power, but missed.
He did the same thing and missed again. He picked up the ball, tossed it up one more time and said, “I am the best ball player in the world!”
Then he swung and missed again.
“Wow! he said. “What a pitcher!”
 

Blackwater

Well-Known Member
Grew his beard out of audition with the Soggy Bottom Boys.
 

HARDTRAILZ

Moderator
Snorts garlic salt every morning to get his day started
 

HARDTRAILZ

Moderator
Thought he was superman but found out he is batman
 

Redbeard

Well-Known Member
He talks an awful lot of smack for someone who tips over when putting on his underwear.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

HARDTRAILZ

Moderator
Once saw Alice in Wonderland 14 times in a weekend and still spends his time looking to find the rabbit hole
 

Mooseman

Moderator
He's also known as The Kraken!
 

HARDTRAILZ

Moderator
Just invested in a new kite surfing rig to try and circumnavigate the globe via wind power.
 

Blackwater

Well-Known Member
Got turned down on Shark Tank for a pacifier in the shape of his thumb.
 

Blackwater

Well-Known Member
Was found in a brawl and arrested at a peaceful demonstration. One cock was shot by police. Police stated the cows had all of there permits for the demonstration and the chicken in question would not cooperate with police. He was shot because the officer felt like he was reaching for something and was told repeatedly to put his hands up and get down on the ground. One hen was sent to the hospital for hoof to the beak and another cock was gored. The cow was not arrested for the goring and was ruled as self defense. The other chickens have been booked into the local jail and bail is set for $1,000 for each participate. Later, that day there was a "Chickens Lives Matters" group outside the jail.

Chick fil a.JPG
 

HARDTRAILZ

Moderator
Is currently stuck by tongue to a pole outside

1514991250452.png
 

Blackwater

Well-Known Member
Police questioned him on why he crossed the road.
 

HARDTRAILZ

Moderator
Is yet to figure out that no one can eat 50 eggs
 

Blackwater

Well-Known Member
Dreams of a day when he can cross the road without his motives questioned.
 

HARDTRAILZ

Moderator
Has always had cowboys as his heroes
 

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