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Scared of watermelons.
 
Knows how to do the watermelon crawl

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Hates Colonel Sanders with a passion.
 
Has dreams of being the top tupperware salesman in the world
 
Has Alektorophobia.
 
Once impregnated a rooster
 
Once laid an egg and it hatched.
 
Dances with wolves while eagles do a flyover.
 
Went parasailing without a chute, went well until he lost all his feathers. Still missed the 13 second world record flight time of a yard bird, but beat the 301.5 feet world record.
 
Was once a poet, but did not know it, so he planted some seeds and now they grow it.
 
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Waxes and buffs his beak.
 
Still believes the moon is made of cheese
 
Loves eating from the ground.
 
Spends most Friday nights touching his tongue to 9 volt batteries
 
Decided to one up Blackwater and go for 440VAC.
 
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Occasionally can be found singin Happy Birthday in the subway tunnels on weekends for tips
 
Lifted his TB to be able to put AG tires on.
 
Drives a skid steer to work on Thursdays just to park in the front yard and piss off the boss
 
Retired his cock. (and you thought it was the last you would hear of it :rotfl:)
 
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Once fired as a clown. The reason, all the accidental goring and getting his antlers caught on a regular basis exiting the car.
 
Spends day after day contemplating the reason the sky is blue
 
Believes the sky can fall at any moment.
 
He's so much in a hurry that he drinks that cheap cough medicine...aka Dr. Pepper instead of a decent soda.
 
Is learning Old Norse because he wouldn't have to read the subtitles during the show Vikings.
 
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Has the only convertible TB.
 
Only eat bologna sammiches on race days
 
HARDTRAILZ said:
Only eat bologna sammiches on race days
Click to expand...

Bologna from the deli with mayo, mustard, pickle, tomatoes, red onions, lettuce and cheese.

Once raced his daughters power wheels pink trail blazer.
 
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Tried to out think himself and lost.
 
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Found out she really was his cousin...........
 
Believed in reincarnation until he found out he was coming back as a Atretochoana Eiselti.
 
HAHA...been considered to be far worse ;)

He once trained a monkey to follow him around and throw poop at all children that cried in his presence
 
Was winning beard contest before he cut his first tooth.

Redbeard said:
Says his village hasn't lost it's idiot, he was elected to congress.
Click to expand...

Group of monkeys is called a congress. :biggrin:
 
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He was once called upon as an expert witness, but unfortunately could not convince the jury he actually knew the man in the moon and played frisbee golf on Mars


Group of crows is called a murder.
 
Was raised by indians that constantly got lost in thick woods,..they were called the Fukawee tribe.

A group of Barracuda is called a Battery
 
Is still not fully recovering from a drunken night of trying to ski a double black diamond naked
 
That ones actually true.....except the naked part,.. I assure you nobody wants to see that!

Still trying to do the dwell angle and points gap on his tb.
 
Enjoys parasailing over crocodile infested waters
 
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