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Has been collecting beard clippings since puberty.
 
Fully understands what all those bright colors mean to me
 
Is colourblind
 
Has a bowl of snapped manifold bolts for breakfast with lots of 75w90.
 
Once ran 16.2 ....



In the 1/8 mile
 
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Keeps using the same piece of toilet paper for a week at a time.
 
bleeds maple syrup.
 
Smiles for the camera while secretly flipping it off
 
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Happily gives directions to tourists to the world's biggest ball of string.
 
Takes daily naps to keep his mind sharp for his nightly crime fighting duties
 
Is the little known superhero, Crabman
 
Once got crabs from one of "those" girls, but quickly fought them off using a lighter and a can of lysol as a flamethrower on his crotch
 
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Once used his long braided pubic hair as a recovery strap.
 
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Stares down ants and loses.
 
Fights the moon every night and wins
 
Is too cheap to buy people meds and uses pet meds.
 
Got pulled over three times in one day, but never got a ticket
 
Stalks cops in donut shops.
 
Challenged a toddler on a big wheel to a race and lost
 
Rode a humpback whale for thirteen days during its breeding season
 
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Wanted to fly across the Atlantic on a paper mache Cessna, drowned 2min & 32sec later...
 
Helped build the Cessna and was along for the ride
 
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His nickname is Yard Bird.
 
Once wrestled a snail.... And lost.
 
Once raced a snail and lost.
 
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Likes to eat snails
 
Has the most beautiful speaking voice but nobody listens to him because he does radio commercials.
 
Likes to shop at Walmart in a pair of stockings and heels.
 
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Is mourning Adam West"s passing by wearing the same original bat costume all week.
 
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Wears the same batman underwear since he was seven.
 
Wears Robin underwear because nobody wears them so they're cheaper.
 
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Likes the all new Star Trek underwear because they hold klingons the best.
 
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Has skid marks in all his underwear
 
Doesn't wear underwear to avoid skid marks.
 
Prefers a thong.
 
Looked to see my pink fuzzy thong.
 
Sells his used thongs on the internet to creeps.
 
Is the one secretly buying the thongs
 
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