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[Mooseman]

Breathes exhaust as if it is air

 

[Redbeard]

His moose is totally hirsute. And one of the few who has Pogonophobia.

redbeard
The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.
Ronald Reagan

 

[Mooseman]

Suffers from Leporiphobia

 

[Redbeard]

Hides rabbit cages in his spare time.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Tried to hide in a trash can to scare the collection guy but fell asleep and ended up in the dump and it took him 3 weeks of eating garbage to dig his way back to freedom

 

[Mooseman]

Likes to scream at the top of his lungs in the cube and watch people's heads pop out of other cubes.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Loves when I do that cause he runs around knocking those heads with a giant hammer

 

[Mooseman]

Got mono from a goat

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Once chopped down a tree with a butter knife

 

[Mooseman]

Goes into retirement homes in a black suit, walking around pointing at residents saying "you're next!"

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Is the one that robbed Kim K....(well done)

 

[Mooseman]

Thinks a hurricane is a great time to fly a kite

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Went redneck crazy and destroyed half of downtown with a hatchet while playing a banjo

 

[Mooseman]

Collects toenail clippings

 

[Redbeard]

Films folks flying their kites during a hurricane.

 

[Mooseman]

His beard absorbs hurricanes

 

[Redbeard]

going to visit Bismark North Dakota to check on a moose that is still on the loose.

"BISMARCK, NORTH DAKOTA (KXMB/NNS) - Police in Bismarck, North Dakota went on a wild chase as a moose ran around a mall parking lot near Target on Tuesday. Now, we're not sure if it was a sticky moose, all covered in juice - but, it was sure on the loose! Animal control officers chose not to tranquilize the animal because they feared it would get agitated. They were also unsure of how long it would take for the drug to kick in."
Unfortunately, it outsmarted the police, and is still on the loose. So, beware of this moose. It may look cute, but these animals are actually quite dangerous.
Pasted from <http://www.fox13news.com/trending/209813067-story>"

Go moose go!

 

[Mooseman]

Thinks that moose make great house pets

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Carries a rubber chicken in his pocket to corporate functions and tries to use it to pick up the ladies...

 

[Redbeard]

Sells eyeglasses to Chickens:

 

[Mooseman]

Owns stock in BlockBuster.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Slapped Chuck Norris and ole Chuckie runned off crying

 

[Mooseman]

Is a card carrying member of the Rosie O'Donnell fan club

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Ws critically injured in a goat stampede

 

[Mooseman]

Wears size 4 shoes

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Is stuck in a hot air balloon over North Korea and praying he is not a test shot for a nuke

 

[Mooseman]

Has been on the show Cops four times and he's not a cop.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Plays the villain on 7 different childrens cartoon shows.

 

[Mooseman]

Owns a Fiero

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Owns a miata

 

[Redbeard]

Owns a citation.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Is a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day

 

[Mooseman]

Has sunshine coming out of his butt.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

rides a unicorn to work

 

[Redbeard]

seen on his rear window:

 

[Mooseman]

Watches anime porn.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Rides mules WAY too hard

 

[Grimor]

Is an Uber for TRE

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Prints lighting features

 

[Mooseman]

Has a tattoo of himself on his ass.