Reality thread...continued.

I'll try to not break the forum with a 10 mile long post, but I've just had the worst day in my life, and feel the need to get this off my chest.

I get a call from my baby sister's phone at 4 am. Didn't quite wake up in time to answer it the first time, but she called right back. Then I hear a man's voice ask me "Can you get to the hospital?"

Incredibly long story short, my nephew was due in 2 months, but there were complications that required an emergency C section. Partial placental abruption (pulled away from her uterus) caused some bleeding, but since it was in the middle and not the edge, it clotted up, which in turn restricted oxygen flow to the baby. Since there was no visible bleeding on her part, she didn't know anything was wrong right away. When they delivered the baby, they found the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck, making matters worse. They worked on him for an hour, but he couldn't maintain a healthy heart rate on his own, so they pronounced him.

I then had to make the calls to our parents out west, and let them know. That crushed me, couldn't even get a few words in before breaking down. The father, and his parents were there, so we had support from each other to tell my sister what happened when she came out of anesthesia.

You all can imagine how well that went. I felt so helpless. I'm her big brother, I'm supposed to look out for her, take care of her and not let bad things happen to her, so I felt like I was failing. When the sedatives started to wear off more, the nurses came in to talk to her, and answer questions as best they could, as well as try to convince her this isn't something she caused, and there's no way to know exactly when it happened. One startling fact they shared, is if she had a full abruption, she would have hemorrhaged, bled out internally in a matter of minutes, and died. But luckily she's fine physically, and just has to recover from the C section.

She's not allowed to drive for 2 weeks, no lifting things for 6. After she gets discharged from the hospital, gonna have her stay with me for a while. Her condo is a 3rd floor walk up, not to mention there's baby stuff all over the place. The father (who has 2 kids of his own) and I decided she doesn't need those reminders so soon. So we'll see how that goes.

Those of you who are religious, please pray for my sister and family, there's a lot of hurt and heartache going on right now, we can use all the support we can get.
 
Oh man so sorry to hear that. Really heartbreaking :sadcry:
 
Sorry to hear this Carlton. You and you family are in my families thoughts and prayers. Some times it is hard being the big brother and having to deal with all of these things.
 
Prayers. It is a tough road for all involved. We lost a couple at earlier gestation and the wife's BF just miscarried a few weeks ago and it SUCKS....period. We will be praying for all involved. Dont try to avoid it, just realize that the Lord needed that little one more than anyone else. She delivered an instant angel and her life may have been spared to continue here doing what the Lord sees as needed. Stay strong, keep your head up, help where you can and let her cry. Let yourself cry. There is a bigger picture that may be blurry now, but smile through the tears and continue forward.

Prayers-
“God, bring comfort and peace. Peace is your essence. Peace is your name. Bring peace to this family who has lost their precious child in death.

We come to you, God because we know that you sorrow, and are acquainted with grief. You too have endured the loss of a child. You empathize.


We can’t help but ask, “Why?” Forgive our insistence, our confusion, even our anger. We believe that you are just, and we ache to understand how this tragic death is an expression of that justice, how it expresses your love. We also know – in our minds at least – that you seldom answer the “why?” question. We press you, but on these matters you are mostly silent.

What we ask instead is “how?” How can we move forward? How can this bring us together and not tear us apart? How can we now live under the shadow of this untimely death? Answer this prayer with your comfort and guidance.

There is no way to remove the pain. The grief is real. The only sanity is to know, to believe, in a life beyond with you, when all the scales are righted and the sufferings are made good. We trust you and your promise that while this child’s life on earth is done, his life beyond has just begun. With that release we lose him and let him go into your arms, then by faith receive in return the boundless comfort of your presence. That is all, that is enough. In Jesus.”


Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists...the-death-of-a-child.html#wzgZjXCZBfFou7wj.99
 

Inferno333

Well-Known Member
I'm so very sorry that this happened to your sister and family. My wife and I know grief of this nature all too well from the last three years of trying to have one of our own.

I'll be thinking about you guys.
 
Certainly a difficult situation. Grieve in the best way can and help your little sister as best you can. It's all you can do. My thoughts are with you and yours.
 
Whew.... That life thing, it's a damn doozie ain't it? My sister is doing better, although her postpartum depression (that's she's in denial about) ain't no joke. As most of you may have noticed, mom came to visit, planning to stay with her for a couple of weeks for some mother/daughter bonding time, but that was a Toyota stuck accelerator wreck. :hopeless: The 2 of them lasted 5 hours together, before my mom insisted on staying at my house for the rest of her stay. Always good to spend time with mom, but after a couple of weeks, I'm glad to have my house back, and can try to get back to the routine.

Work is slow and boring. May is supposed to be the beginning of the busy season, AND with some acquisitions bringing additional work through our system, we're supposed to be slammed. Hmm, yeah, not the case for me. Most afternoons I'm doing my best not to nod off at my desk.

A technical recruiter has reached out, to try and hook me up with some help getting back into IT. Since my manager and director are friends of mine, I gave them a heads up about what I'm doing. They knew I was only gonna be there temporarily, but I've helped improve some processes in the department that keep backlogs clear, and have reduced incoming client and end user calls, so they want to try to find a way to keep me, but keep me happy. Got pulled aside for a quick chat, and they want to try to transition me into the product development department. The guy running the show there is swamped, and with the number of acquisitions that have happened in the past 6 months, getting the systems integrated has gone slower than anticipated. So they are gonna get me a sit down with that guy and see if we can work something out. If the work is cool, and they want to pay me, then cool. :cool:

After work today, went downtown and met up with the recruiter. Chatted for about an hour. Can talk about mods, sports, gadgets and LEDs all day long, but for some reason sitting around talking about myself is challenging. :redface: So we'll see what comes from that. Hopefully a good opportunity, and one that gives me a mod fund again, been missing that! :sadcry:
 
Best of luck. Its been 9 years at my current job and at 10 I am vested for retirement and may try to own your own company route.
 
I have a 7 year curse. When I reach that point, something goes sideways and I end up having to leave. Last job had money problems, the one before that, multiple acquisitions that eventually caused our location to shut down. Hoping whatever I find next, I can stick with for the long haul.
 
I have read you should change jobs after 5 years for maximum career potential, but I would have lost all my money put in to the public retirement I get after ten, so here I sit
 
Yeah, but I've also read a lot of stuff that isn't necessarily true.
 
I am sure it varies by filed and employer, but i am basically topped out without going to management that only seems to come open when someone dies every decade or so....
 
It is only good to change jobs if you are getting more money while staying within a career set.

If I can get things setup so that I can work from on the road I think I am going to do my own business so I can travel with my family. Especially through the summer when they are out of school.
 
Or developing more skill within that set. More money may not happen til you fill the full skill set that a single employer may not provide :wink:
 
Expanding my skill set is something I was trying to do at my last job, getting into PHP and Web design. Just ran out of time.

The product development move here sounds interesting. Gonna have a sit down with the guy on Friday. Turns out, not only is he familiar with the last company I worked at, but he also knows a number of the owners there too. Small world. :biggrin:
 
Carlton - Wow, I'm a newbie here, but just went back and read some of the older posts about the difficult times you and your family has had to deal with. Had me wiping my eyes... I get real emotional with babies and problems like that. Prayers to you and sister, hope all is going better....
 

JimInRadfordVA

Well-Known Member
I have a 7 year curse. When I reach that point, something goes sideways and I end up having to leave. Last job had money problems, the one before that, multiple acquisitions that eventually caused our location to shut down. Hoping whatever I find next, I can stick with for the long haul.
I have "the curse" too. 10 years at one job (closed the office), nine at the next (went out of business), six after that (laid off). I'm in the sixth year of my current gig and figure they'll have to carry me out on a board. Health-wise, that may not be too far away...
 
The job hunt isn't going as well as I'd hoped. The position internally with the product development team stalled. Office politics and red tape. The door isn't shut completely yet, because the guy really does need the help, but convincing the new owners has proven difficult. :hopeless: The other 2 jobs I applied for, I couldn't get my foot in the door, as there were some skills I am proficient in, but others I had no experience with and they couldn't wait for me to learn on the fly. :mad:

My sister is doing better, which the whole family is happy about. She was given a 30 day extension on her graduate program, and was able to complete her course work, so she was able to get her master's degree. Couldn't be more proud of her. :dance:

In other news, I've could host a Discovery Channel/Animal planet show in my yard. I noticed several large holes in my back and side yards over the last month. Last weekend, I found out that it was one of the turtles from the pond doing the damage. It's nesting season... :banghead: After a week of not seeing any new disturbances, I went out and filled in all the holes Thursday when I got home from work.

Got up this morning, and outside my kitchen window, the turtle is back, and had dug a pretty deep one this time. I stood there and watched her lay her eggs, take a breather, and then bury them. Pretty cool. Then I noticed there were other disturbances around her. I figured she had tried to dig elsewhere, and couldn't get deep enough... Until she wandered maybe 6 feet away, and started digging again. Turns out, she was actually digging up another turtle's nest. :eek: Flung a few eggs into the pond, dislodged others, and ruptured a few too. I had no idea they did that.
:smiley_kill:





Snapped some video, since I know some of my friends are into this kinda thing. Figured I'd share here too just to take 10 minutes from your lives that you'll never get back. :satan:

 
Owee, coming up on a year since we've been in this thread. Guess now's as good a time as ever for a :bump: right? :biggrin:

Your favorite LED head has been busy. The job hunt from last summer eventually paid off in an odd way. Ended up getting a job with the Girl Scouts doing some half handcuffed system admin type stuff. It was supposed to be report writing, dashboard building, training new employees on the system (Salesforce) and helping out with any problems that spring up.

My boss was a Salesforce admin for 6 years before here, so she was all about the technology, and was a good mentor for me. Then 2 months later, she quits! WTF! At this point, I realized how disorganized this place really is. The turnover rate is pretty high, which was alarming at first, but now I'm numb to it. As far as technical work goes, I'm pretty much already at my ceiling, which is also a step down from what I had been doing at my last job. There's very limited admin stuff I can do, as all the power is held by the people at corporate. They aren't good at it either. I could post whore in the F-U thread talking about those jokers... :rolleyes:

But since I changed my LinkedIn profile, I've been getting hit up by poachers trying to get me to jump ship and work for them. Don't really like the platform, some limitations that seem like common sense to me get in my way too much. One of those poachers is my old boss who quit on us. Thought that was ironic, but the offer wasn't sweet, so I told her I wasn't trying to skip jobs right now cuz I was working on buying a house.

I'd been looking for a forever-home for a couple of years now, but seeing some of our members posting about home projects really kept me motivated. In December, I found a 3/2 with a 2 car garage, for a price I could afford by myself, that didn't require a total renovation, in a part of town that I like, is central to my spread of friends, and also about 20 minutes from work. It was a short sale, and although my agent, and friends tried to warn me, I wasn't prepared for how endlessly frustrating the process is.

Fast forward through all the :nonsense: and I finally made it to closing on Friday. Thursday, my agent and I did the re-inspection walk through, and found some surprises. The previous tenants who were renting the house, left food in the freezer and oven. Since the house was vacant for almost a month due to the closing getting pushed back repeatedly, there were flies and maggots. Great! :puke: The rest of the house seemed to be as expected, nothing major to deal with there that I didn't already know about. So then we check the outside. Storage shed was sitting wide open, and had been raided. It was full of junk before. Seemed strange, until we turned around to see the back double gate on the fence was crashed in, knocked off it's hinges on one side, and both fence posts split down the center. :mad:

OK fine, so they took a ton of scrap metal that I was intending to take to the scrap yard. Fine I can live with that. Then I find some empty liquor bottles, and some graffiti on a concrete slab (which the owner had put in place for a grille) Can deal with that, but having to get the fence fixed is an unexpected expense that ain't in the budget. :hissyfit:

So I've spent most of Friday and Today cleaning stuff up, and spraying for bugs. I planned to paint and seal the garage floor, so cleaning up fluid spills would be easier. BUT, the garage is full of crap everywhere and looking at it is overwhelming, so I go do something else. There's some small cracks that I may need to fill, and some chipped areas that probably need to be patched first. Welcome to home ownership I guess :tongue:

Hadn't checked emails much, just for some posts here real quick on my phone. But I saw another linked in message from my old boss, offering me a different job. She didn't say much, other than she felt it was right up my alley, and that I could make substantially more money there than what I make now. Oh REALLY now? I haven't responded back to her yet, but with a new mortgage on my back, and a good bit of work needed to make it my own, a change of scenery could be nice in the next month or so. :yes:

But yeah, don't expect many fun mods to the EXT anytime soon...:nono:
 

Capote

Platinum Supporter
Owee, coming up on a year since we've been in this thread. Guess now's as good a time as ever for a :bump: right? :biggrin:

Your favorite LED head has been busy. The job hunt from last summer eventually paid off in an odd way. Ended up getting a job with the Girl Scouts doing some half handcuffed system admin type stuff. It was supposed to be report writing, dashboard building, training new employees on the system (Salesforce) and helping out with any problems that spring up.

My boss was a Salesforce admin for 6 years before here, so she was all about the technology, and was a good mentor for me. Then 2 months later, she quits! WTF! At this point, I realized how disorganized this place really is. The turnover rate is pretty high, which was alarming at first, but now I'm numb to it. As far as technical work goes, I'm pretty much already at my ceiling, which is also a step down from what I had been doing at my last job. There's very limited admin stuff I can do, as all the power is held by the people at corporate. They aren't good at it either. I could post whore in the F-U thread talking about those jokers... :rolleyes:

But since I changed my LinkedIn profile, I've been getting hit up by poachers trying to get me to jump ship and work for them. Don't really like the platform, some limitations that seem like common sense to me get in my way too much. One of those poachers is my old boss who quit on us. Thought that was ironic, but the offer wasn't sweet, so I told her I wasn't trying to skip jobs right now cuz I was working on buying a house.

I'd been looking for a forever-home for a couple of years now, but seeing some of our members posting about home projects really kept me motivated. In December, I found a 3/2 with a 2 car garage, for a price I could afford by myself, that didn't require a total renovation, in a part of town that I like, is central to my spread of friends, and also about 20 minutes from work. It was a short sale, and although my agent, and friends tried to warn me, I wasn't prepared for how endlessly frustrating the process is.

Fast forward through all the :nonsense: and I finally made it to closing on Friday. Thursday, my agent and I did the re-inspection walk through, and found some surprises. The previous tenants who were renting the house, left food in the freezer and oven. Since the house was vacant for almost a month due to the closing getting pushed back repeatedly, there were flies and maggots. Great! :puke: The rest of the house seemed to be as expected, nothing major to deal with there that I didn't already know about. So then we check the outside. Storage shed was sitting wide open, and had been raided. It was full of junk before. Seemed strange, until we turned around to see the back double gate on the fence was crashed in, knocked off it's hinges on one side, and both fence posts split down the center. :mad:

OK fine, so they took a ton of scrap metal that I was intending to take to the scrap yard. Fine I can live with that. Then I find some empty liquor bottles, and some graffiti on a concrete slab (which the owner had put in place for a grille) Can deal with that, but having to get the fence fixed is an unexpected expense that ain't in the budget. :hissyfit:

So I've spent most of Friday and Today cleaning stuff up, and spraying for bugs. I planned to paint and seal the garage floor, so cleaning up fluid spills would be easier. BUT, the garage is full of crap everywhere and looking at it is overwhelming, so I go do something else. There's some small cracks that I may need to fill, and some chipped areas that probably need to be patched first. Welcome to home ownership I guess :tongue:

Hadn't checked emails much, just for some posts here real quick on my phone. But I saw another linked in message from my old boss, offering me a different job. She didn't say much, other than she felt it was right up my alley, and that I could make substantially more money there than what I make now. Oh REALLY now? I haven't responded back to her yet, but with a new mortgage on my back, and a good bit of work needed to make it my own, a change of scenery could be nice in the next month or so. :yes:

But yeah, don't expect many fun mods to the EXT anytime soon...:nono:
If I lived waaay closer, i'd help you out in a heartbeat with any renovations or repairs with the home. Sadly, I live too far and i'll never wanna travel to FL by vehicle.
 
Once you get everything fixed up and squared away, you'll be proud of your accomplishment.
 
Once you get everything fixed up and squared away, you'll be proud of your accomplishment.
That's what I keep reminding myself, every time I start thinking about all work ahead in its totality, so i don't get too overwhelmed. Going with the baby steps, and working from the inside out.

Have had a few friends stop by between yesterday and today to check it out, and everyone's been surprised at how good of a deal I got, even with the couple of unexpected surprises. Power should be turned on tomorrow, and hopefully water too, that will make getting a lot of stuff done much easier AND more comfortable. :yes:
 
Best of luck. Real estate can be a bitch and the work sucks at times, but the payoff is great. Just dont frustrate yourself and pick out a bit at a time to do rather than starting a bunch and feeling like its chaos everytwhere
 
Yeah, I have too many projects going on at my place right now. Really shouldn't have done that! Stick with one at a time!
 

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