Corrupt a Wish!

[littleblazer]

Poof!

You now have the ability to work less and play more. The only issue is you are required to spend 20 hours a day playing in only your cubicle a paper clip and a piece of string.

Wish I had a lifted trailblazer

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Poof you have a lifted TB, BUT you have not wheels and tires and all the studs have been welded to square steel box so it wont roll.


Wish I could strangle this insurance adjuster

 

[littleblazer]

Shazam!

You strangle the insurance adjuster and feel great about it. Then 6 months later his son seeks vengeance and burns every single one of your possessions to the ground. Then frames you for fraud so you can't collect. After fighting in court for months they agree you were framed but find out that since you strangled the adjuster your policy is void and you have just wasted your time.

I wish I could time travel.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Bada Bing Bada Boom: You travel in time.

However, you end up in the time of the dinosaurs surrounded by a fleet of velociraptors that a re strving and like the smell of your modern day cologne....Good Luck!


I wish I was a dinosaur

 

[BlazingTrails]

You turn into a Pisannosaurus and while running around looking for a girlfriend get stepped on by a triceratops and died.....


I wish I was RICH!

(Pisannosaurus)

 

[Mounce]

You won the lottery! You're set for life!

But you've got a wild wife and she runs off with all of your money and leaves you high and dry in your new mansion.

I wish I was asleep.

 

[BlazingTrails]

You fall asleep but Freddy Kruger slashed you up real good, you never wake up.


I wish I had a twin turbo Corvette

 

[Mounce]

Blow off valve sticks open, you go for a WOT pull to show off in front of a ricer and the turbos over-spin and shatter the compressor wheels sending shards of metal throughout the engine ruining the whole build. To top it off, the ricer pointed and laughed.

I want an endless road coated in bubble wrap

 

[SnowBlazer]

Poof! Endless road of bubble wrap appears out of no where. Too bad the paving company is coming by later that day to resurface and pave the road.

I wish I had an SS

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Poof: You have an SS but it has been swapped to a NA 4 cylinder with 104 HP and a three on tree transmission.

I wish I had a helicopter

 

[Capote]

*poof* you've got your Helicopter, but while happily flying it about the tail rotor flies off and you spin out of control and crash into a Bernie Sanders rally

I wish I had a unlimited EBay funds

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Sweet...burning bernie fans! i can approve

Poof: You have unlimited eBay funds, but after 36 hours of purchasing pleasure: eBay decides you have made too many returns and boots you off their system permanently.

I wish I night vision

 

[Mooseman]

Poof: you have night vision but you see the 89 year old next door lady naked in her house and you puke all over your shoes.

I wish I was 20 years old again

 

[littleblazer]

You are now visually 20 years old, but you still feel exactly as you are now.

I wish this week was over.

 

[Mooseman]

Poof, your week is over, which ends on Saturday at 23:59 and you only have Sunday off, and it's raining.

I wish my arthritis would go away.

 

[Sib]

Poof!

Your arthritis goes away but you suffer from 24/7 hemorrhoids for the rest of your life.

I wish I could figure out how the mind of a woman works.

 

[Mooseman]

Boing! You know how the mind of a woman works but you turn into a vegetable because there's no room for anything else.

I wish I could lose 100 lbs.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Poof: You lose 100 lbs, but it is due to accidentally cutting off a leg and an arm in a horrid chainsaw accident.

I wish I could run 100 mph.

 

[Mooseman]

Bang: you can run 100 mph but you lose control, hit a wall and die.

I wish I was immortal.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

WHAM: You are immortal, but no one can see you and you can never interact with anyone again. Just have to sit and watch life pass you by all alone.


I wish I had a new phone

 

[Mooseman]

Poof, you have the very latest new phone but no battery.

I wish I had a 9-7x Aero

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Poof: you have an aero but it is buried under 12 feet of quicksand.

I wish I had less grey hair

 

[Sib]

Poof...you have less grey hair but you are now a complete ginger head to toe.

I wish it was 75° and sunny every day of the year where I live.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Poof...but you are locked in a tornado shelter and can't enjoy the weather.

I wish I had 64 million dollars

 

[Sib]

Poof...you have 64 million dollars but you spend it all on hookers and blow and can't afford to eat.

I wish our govt would disappear

 

[Mooseman]

Alakazam, there is no government but you are now living in a Mad Max world driving a screwed up dune buggy.

I wish I was retired.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Poop: You are retired, but in an insane asylum and locked in a straight jacket.

I wish I could never worry about money again.

 

[Mooseman]

Bam, you don't worry about money because you have none.

I wish the yard would clean itself.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Poof- The yard cleans itself, but in doing so accidentally razes the house puts the vehicles out with the trash.

I wish I could be president

 

[Mooseman]

Paf, you're George Washington and thus, dead.

I wish stupid people would disappear.

 

[Redbeard]

Now where did everyone go???? Just disappeared??? And the web site is working up to speed! Me thinks Mooseman's wish came true.

 

[Mooseman]

@Redbeard did not make a wish therefore he disappears

I wish I had a fully equipped garage.

 

[Redbeard]

@Mooseman: which way did he go, which way did he go??? Just like that, poof not needing to wish for a fully equipped garage. Admittedly it's only 2400 square feet with 14' walls, but it will do.

 

[Mooseman]

@Redbeard , not knowing how corrupt a wish works, further disappears to the molecular level.

I wish it was winter all year round so I could snowmobile.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Poof it is winter all year round, but NO SNOW to be found. hahahahahaha


I wish my basement would refinish itself this time and save me the labor.

 

[Mooseman]

Bam, your basement finished itself but it's all in '60's deco with carpet on the walls and flowery linoleum.

I wish for the most absolutely best steak dinner with garlic mashed potatoes, mushrooms, gravy, the most delicious homemade bun with butter then topped off with a desert of sugar pie with a side of vanilla ice cream.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Boom...dinner is served, but you broke your jaw and it is wired shut so you have to run dinner through the blender and drink it with a straw

I wish I had new tires for the truck

 

[Mooseman]

Pow, you have new tires, size 125 80R12, wheels not included.

Wish I had my old 1978 Camaro Z28 back.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Poof you have it back but it is now sparkly pink paint with baby blue velvet interior and smells like a lady of the night has been using it for her business for awhile.

I wish I had more hours in the day

 

[Mooseman]

Boom, you have more hours in a day, which means, days are longer but they are all spent at work in the cube.

Wish I was Bill Gates.