When I was 17 years Old…. It’ll be Fifty years ago this coming December… On one of the coldest nights I suspect ever in memory over in Deland, Florida, I wanted to go to see my First NHRA Drag Racing Competition over at The Sidney Toler Airport. But since my hourly pay rate was only 75 Cents an Hour at the Furniture Store I was working at, I couldn’t afford the Entry Ticket Fees. And so… as nightfall came, I reluctantly finally decided to sneak in through a hole I was aware of over in the Airport Security Fence.
But after sneaking up through the nearby woods… just as I was about to do so, to my very great surprise… I was being hotly pursued by Three Over-Weight Auxiliary Volunteer Volusia County Sheriff’s Department Personnel who tried to ambush me when they came crashing and thrashing on Horseback through the wooded area I was trespassing upon; Hooting and Hollering for me to Stop! But... having heard the Roar of the Engines and The Roar of the Crowd and right after getting a whiff of that Nitro-Methane Fuel in the cold, damp breeze of air burning my nostrils… There was absolutely no way that I was going to come to a Halt!
I managed to dive through the fence hole just in the nick of time and kept ploughing through the High Milkweed on the other side… and the effect of my efforts was almost Magical. All three Riders suddenly came to a stop near the Fence Line and were laughing their asses off as one yelled out… “Hey Kid… Tonight is YOUR lucky Night!” and with that, they all jerked back their reins, and as their Horses snorted out as much smoke into the cool night air as those Race Cars were making, they rode hard and fast right back out of the woods the same way they had come through. I thought... “Whew… Thank God Horses can’t jump a 12 Foot High Fence with Fat Deputies on their Backs…!” But I was NOT “out of the woods” just yet.
When I turned around to look towards the sound of the Funny Cars being revved up adjacent a Tall Christmas Tree and then hurl Brave Men and Roaring Machinery down the track faster than ANYTHING I’d ever seen… I was absolutely thrilled. I was so distracted while concentrating on the 7 Second progress of both cars … that I was completely unaware that I was standing in The Pit Area… with “Big Daddy” Don Garlits… strangely a very small man… standing right next to me. He had his arms folded across his chest and a warm blanket hanging over his shoulders to fight off the damp 17 Degree F Cold wind blowing in from off of the runways. And yet, he was looking very pleased with himself… so much so… that he actually looked over at this gawking, wide-eyed Teenage Boy… and smiled.
At the same time, on my opposite side… there was a noisy, blustering, huge, bulky and VERY Angry Man wearing a Dirty White Nomex Racing Fireproof Suit who came storming right past me. But suddenly, he stopped while he was still looking right at me while grabbing for his Helmet and his Nomex Gloves and was staring at me for a very long moment. This was just long enough for me to realize that it was the equally famous Connie Kalitta standing right there and who unbeknownst to me until that very moment… Here was a Famous NHRA Dragster Driver ...with One Eye that looked WAY to the Right… while the other Eye looked WAY to the Left trying to stare right in my face!
Then… just as abruptlyy, he jammed his helmet onto his head and walked briskly past me to get seated, situated and strapped inside of his “AA” Top Fuel Rail Dragster... "The Bounty Hunter". A moment later, his Able Mechanic chucked a hand-held electric starter with one hand near the front of the Huge Injected and Super-Charged Ford 427 CID SOHC Motor while holding a 12 Volt Car Battery and Jumper Cables in the other and then suddenly...those Choppy puffs of exhaust that smelled like Gun-Powder erupted from his Headers, and that Staccato Sounding Cam Lope made that Scary, Magnificently Powerful Engine... Rumble to Life! As it vibrated the ground, the air all around us... and every single bone in my body... it took me completely! I was so wound up with anticipation in that moment ...that you couldn’t have pulled a Straight Pin out of my Ass... with a John Deere Tractor!
Anyhow… I’m not certain who his opponent was in the adjacent Right Lane… but I wanted to see him doing his burnout and staging in the Left Lane of the Race Track. I had a clear shot at looking right into the syncopated popping of the blue and orange flame paths exiting from the turns deep inside his Incandescent Headers as the engine struggled to run with burden of the extreme valve overlap at idle. And when lights dropped from Yellow to pop “Green”… His Rail Dragster launched like it was fired from 105 Howitzer Artillery Field Piece… and the rush of air from his White Hot Flaming Exhaust was strong enough to push me back as he drove the car forwards... and the guy in the Right Lane was left standing there like he was waiting for a City Bus!
This was making me tear up and damned near cry from the affect of the acrid cloud of exhaust fumes but no doubt...from the strong emotions I was feeling in that instant as well. Connie Kalitta was MUCH quicker as he exploded off the line and was well ahead of the other driver, so at first it looked like he would be the clear winner. But in those few seconds… as I moved forward to ensure a clear sight advantage in that narrow space in between, Don Garlits must have had the same idea and he brushed up against my right elbow to do likewise. In that moment… he seemed very focused as his brow knit when it looked like Kalitta would certainly win the Heat AND The Race Prize Money.
But all of a sudden… The Kalitta Dragster; having already passed the other race car by several lengths… drifted rapidly across from his lane into the other guy’s lane… causing Garlits to break out into a huge smile with obvious relief at the disqualifying outcome of this Heat. There was another unknown Dragster Driver standing right there making surprised eye contact with “Bid Daddy” and after he shrugged his shoulders and was smiling back at the NHRA World Champion, he uttered, “Jeeezuss Don… I wonder… What The Hell Happened..?” Still smiling broadly with his arms hugging his chest, Garlits looked over at me first and then looked back at the other man and quietly said:
“Hummm…. Connie must have been looking out of the Wrong Eye...”
Now both of these grown men burst out laughing with red faced, knee-slapping guffaws right on the spot. But they were equally surprised when I did likewise, realizing that I too had understood what Garlits' jest had really meant.
God… That was sooo damned funny and it happened on one of THE Coolest… Most Unforgettable... Best Days of My Life!
That Mounted Deputy Sheriff was right... "Hey Kid... Tonight Really WAS Your Lucky Night!"
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