So... Whenever "The Lil Woman"
doesn't feel like Cooking... It falls to me to do my "Usual" Pick Up Meal:
Tuna Fish Salad Sandwich.
Okeedoke...
Here is the Recipe:
(1) Star-Kist Solid White Meat Albacore Tuna (Four Short cans)
(2) Four Cups of Whole Green Olives (with Pimentos Centers)
(3) Two Full Table Spoons of Minced Garlic
(4) One Medium Sized Onion (Minced)
(5) Sprinkle of "Tony Chachero's" Spice Powder
(6) Sprinkle of McCormick's Grill Mate Montreal Chicken
(7) Sprinkle of McCormick's Grill Mate Montreal Steak
(8) Two Tables Spoons of Ken's Steak House Balsamic Vinegar Salad Dressing
(9) LOTS of Hellman's Mayonnaise
(10) More of Publix Brand Spicy Brown Mustard
Drain and Break Up the Tuna
(it's mostly a pretty dry material) in a Large Corel Bowl.
Add ALL of the Ingredients and Mix Well
Lightly Toast 4 Slices of Stern's 100% Whole Wheat Bread
Pile on the Tuna Mix a Mile High
Slice Both Sandwiches Diagonally
Give the "Lil Woman" Three Sections on a large Corel Soup Bowl
The Cook gets to "Test" his work by eating the Fourth Section
Wait for the sound of satisfaction
(The Ummmmmms...)
But NO...
NOPE... Uh-Uhnn ... Not
THIS Time....
I was missing THE Most Important Step:
LOOK OUT FOR THE TUNA BONES!
WTF? Are You SERIOUS? YUP!!! See for yourselves what almost choked out the "Lil Woman"
The WORST of it is... I
ATE 1/4th of those Two Sandwiches...and...
So NOW I'm Kinda Gettin' "The Stink Eye" from "The Old Lady.." ...and I kinda felt like W.C. Fields did in THIS Scene:
She says to me (asking me)...
"So Big Boy...WHAT are the Chances that "I" would wind up getting a Tuna Fish Bone caught in my mouth... with YOU Making The FOOD?" I thought about it and then said...
"
Well... Look at the Math... "I" had a One In Four Chance of having THAT Tuna Bone get caught...TOO..."
Now ...earlier... I was looking for a New Jar of Olives for this Meal...and the only one I could find was about the size of a 50 Gallon Glass 'Sarcophagus' Jar that for the Life of ME... I just could
NOT get the Jar Lid Loose from ...No Matter HOW Hard I tried. Finally she said to me in that
Ball-Bustin' Tone that ALL Women are capable of.
"If YOU can't get that Lid Loose... I'm sending you to an Old Folks Home..."
Well ...knowing her... I KNEW that she was being
SERIOUS ...So in about Two Shakes after that ...I had the Man-Hole Cover unscrewed from that Giant Jar and managed to finish making "The Tuna Sandwich of Death".
THIS has NEVER happened to me in nearly
75 Years of eating ALL kinds of TUNA...
WTF People!!!