The Dumb Things People Say And Do!!

[Denali n DOO]

I didn't see a thread on this topic. It might be fun, tell us about the dumb things you have heard people say or do...

One time when I was snowmobiling I drove my Ski-Doo to the gas pumps to fill up with gas. I went in to pay and I still had my helmet on, the kid behind the counter asked me "Do you want a car wash today sir?". He wasn't too observant that day!

 

[ConeKilrAutoX]

When I broke my arm in high school, I came in with a half-arm cast and sling and my teacher looked right at my cast and then asked me "did you break your arm?"....

 

[The_Roadie]

As a diagnostic engineer, I HATE talking to tech support and waiting while they run through their script of troubleshooting advice before I'm allowed to talk to somebody with a clue how to help me. Had a problem after rainstorms with my land line telephone. I was convinced it was in THEIR wiring. Insisted a tech come to the house so I could prove it. Problem ended up being moss growing in an OUTSIDE phone jack on MY side of the interface I never realized was on the north side of the house. Dumb Roadie had been telling the tech about his troubleshooting exploits and how I was never wrong, etc. etc. What a dummy.

 

[Voymom]

One of the most annoying things when my daughter was an infant, was when I would dress her up in girly colors(pink, or purple) and I had little headbands with flowers on her and she has her ears pierced. People would still ask if she was a boy or a girl!!

If the clothes didn't give it away I though for sure her pink flower car seat would.....nope!


The other thing that pisses me off to no end is...

I have a 200lb Saint Bernard who is highly trained for personal protection/guarding. I would tell people that he WILL BITE, no matter who you are, what age you are, or what sex you are. Some people will still attempt to pet him, or walk into my house without knocking on the door. I take all necessary precautions to make sure he doesn't bite guests or neighborhood kids(I lock him up or put him outside in the fenced backyard. But some people mainly my one neighbor, will still try on a daily basis to get near him, go out back with him, or try to come into my house when my husband is at work(BIG NO NO). I guess when he gets bit or attacked, he will learn? All I know is that I will be damned that my dog pays the price for their stupidity.


And my last rant

I hate going out to wal-mart or anywhere for that matter. It never fails that when I go somewhere with all my kids, I get asked if they are mine. I always feel like saying No, their not mine...I kidnapped them on the way here and I'm trying to sell them for a case of beer Once they find out that all the kids are mine, I usually get a comment along the lines of...wow you must have started way young, I've never seen such a young girl with so many kids, what are you like 16 yrs old? OMFG no wonder why I don't play well with others.

 

[Denali n DOO]

One of the most annoying things when my daughter was an infant, was when I would dress her up in girly colors(pink, or purple) and I had little headbands with flowers on her and she has her ears pierced. People would still ask if she was a boy or a girl!!

If the clothes didn't give it away I though for sure her pink flower car seat would.....nope!


The other thing that pisses me off to no end is...

I have a 200lb Saint Bernard who is highly trained for personal protection/guarding. I would tell people that he WILL BITE, no matter who you are, what age you are, or what sex you are. Some people will still attempt to pet him, or walk into my house without knocking on the door. I take all necessary precautions to make sure he doesn't bite guests or neighborhood kids(I lock him up or put him outside in the fenced backyard. But some people mainly my one neighbor, will still try on a daily basis to get near him, go out back with him, or try to come into my house when my husband is at work(BIG NO NO). I guess when he gets bit or attacked, he will learn? All I know is that I will be damned that my dog pays the price for their stupidity.


And my last rant

I hate going out to wal-mart or anywhere for that matter. It never fails that when I go somewhere with all my kids, I get asked if they are mine. I always feel like saying No, their not mine...I kidnapped them on the way here and I'm trying to sell them for a case of beer Once they find out that all the kids are mine, I usually get a comment along the lines of...wow you must have started way young, I've never seen such a young girl with so many kids, what are you like 16 yrs old? OMFG no wonder why I don't play well with others.

That is hilarious!!! Okay I'm done laughing now, I think! Ya neighbors are amazing too! The one across the road from me(we live on a not so busy of a street), when ever he backs out of the driveway he always puts on his signal when he leaves signaling which way he'll be backing out of the driveway. My other neighbors laugh at me when I turn around in his driveway because I signal when I'm backing out of there!!!

 

[TollKeeper]

I used to have a neighbor, that me and all my other neighbors got evicted.. She seemed to think that the street belonged to her. She would continually make threats against a neighbor girl who would ride her bike down the street, into the cul-de-sac, turn around and go back home. She finally threatened her, while me, and my wife, were standing in out drive way. "You hit my car, and I am going to hit you until you bleed". Then she took her car out of her drive way, and parked it in the Cul-De-Sac. Needless to say, after a little talk with management, and documents from me and my neighbors, she now lives in a mental home.

 

[DucatiSS]

One of the most annoying things when my daughter was an infant, was when I would dress her up in girly colors(pink, or purple) and I had little headbands with flowers on her and she has her ears pierced. People would still ask if she was a boy or a girl!! .

Reminds me of a story a guy that used to work for me would talk about.

He has a twin sister, and upon more than one occasion when they were babies she would take them out in their strollers one dressed in blue and the other in pink.
The conversation would go like this.

Stranger: Oh what cute little babies

Mom: Thank you

Stranger: Are they twins?

Mom: Yes they are

Stranger: Are they identical?

Mom: Nope, one of them has a penis.

I think she raised more than a few eyebrows

 

[Denali n DOO]

Well back in 2000 on a hot summer day I see my neighbor out doing some gardening but he was digging a hole right beside a fence post less than a foot away. "what are you doing today?" I asked him, "oh not much just planting a Snowball Bush" he said. "But it looks like your Snowball Bush has Maple Tree Leaves on it" I said. "Not at all it's a Snowball Bush and gets big white flowers on it"

In the summer of 2001 when I seen him out there I said, " hey it looks like your Snowball Bush turned into a Maple Tree!". We looked at the leaves again and I told him " it's a Maple Tree not a stupid Snowball Bush and it's starting to get bigger. He finally agreed it was Maple Tree and he would be moving it away from the fence. .

Here is what the leaves looked like ;

View attachment 21230

The following year in 2002 he told me that the Maple Tree is too big to move. "That's fine", I told him, "But I guarantee I will be cutting down all of it that hangs over the fence and into my yard. I wasn't interested in having a Maple Tree growing there".

Now in 2012, 12 years later here's how it looks :wootwoot:!

View attachment 21233

As long as it keeps growing I'll keep on trimming it !

I told him it was a dumb place to plant a Maple Tree!! !

 

[Lima Tango]

I ordered a Dr. Pepper and the waitress offered a Cherry Pepsi as a substitute.

 

[Wooluf1952]

I ordered a Dr. Pepper and the waitress offered a Cherry Pepsi as a substitute.

There's a difference?

Spoiler

 

[navigator]

.....

I told him it was a dumb place to plant a Maple Tree!! !

I just moved a Maple tree that was about 3 years old. It was about 10 feet tall but the root ball would likely fit in a 5 gallon bucket.
The good news about your trimming is if it blows over it should fall in his yard!

 

[Denali n DOO]

I just moved a Maple tree that was about 3 years old. It was about 10 feet tall but the root ball would likely fit in a 5 gallon bucket.
The good news about your trimming is if it blows over it should fall in his yard!

It would go that way for sure! Imagine if I dug a garden on my side of the fence and removed all the roots? I'll just leave it for now as its good conversation piece...

 

[Hatchet]

I hate going out to wal-mart or anywhere for that matter. It never fails that when I go somewhere with all my kids, I get asked if they are mine. I always feel like saying No, their not mine...I kidnapped them on the way here and I'm trying to sell them for a case of beer Once they find out that all the kids are mine, I usually get a comment along the lines of...wow you must have started way young, I've never seen such a young girl with so many kids, what are you like 16 yrs old? OMFG no wonder why I don't play well with others.

I have one like this. Was more of me being a smart ass. I was holding my friends niece when she was using the bathroom at a indoor running track park. A guy walks by and says "Aww she's adorable. What's her name?" with out even thinking I said. "I dunno. I just found her." with a straight face. The look on his face was priceless. Luckily he could take a joke. Otherwise I would have probably been in jail.

 

[JRTAHOE]

I work a satellite service provider so of course we have all types of people calling in for troubleshooting. Some people I swear.

 

[hrddrv]

I've got a few. The wife and I are white and we adopted a black baby. One day I was asked by a student at the high school I work at if I pimped my wife out and she got pregnant by one of her johns? And he was serious.I have also been asked if we went to Africa and several other places to adopt him. They have a blank stare when I tell them Orlando. Some even say Is that in Africa or some other place before.

 

[Denali n DOO]

I bought my son a Hot Wheels Radar Gun when he was about 5. It worked on Hot Wheels, Slot Cars, rx cars, his atv. Finally he wanted to see how fast the cars were going down our street. I watched from the front step as he sit near the curb and yelled out every speed to me. 37 dad! 46 dad! 39 dad! 51 dad! When no more cars were coming he must have got bored because he pointed the radar gun at an elderly lady walking down the street with a walker. Just at the point when she was right in front of him he yells out at the top of his lungs " dad she's not moving very fast at all"

 

[Regulator]

Not really anything she said, but more what she did....

As most of you know I broke my truck on Sunday and had to borrow a truck and flatbed from Bartonmd. On Monday Tracey (my wife) and I returned it to Indy. On the way down we stopped to eat. She got out of the truck and started to walk in, but I stopped her asking her to lock up since I had my tablet sitting in the front seat. So of course she says ok, reaches in through the open window, and presses down the lock.

 

[Short Bus]

Not really anything she said, but more what she did....

As most of you know I broke my truck on Sunday and had to borrow a truck and flatbed from Bartonmd. On Monday Tracey (my wife) and I returned it to Indy. On the way down we stopped to eat. She got out of the truck and started to walk in, but I stopped her asking her to lock up since I had my tablet sitting in the front seat. So of course she says ok, reaches in through the open window, and presses down the lock.

That's a good one Matt. Try living with someone that has Chemo brain, you could post almost daily.

Chemo Brain

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Was filling up at a gas station in Indianapolis, not off the mainroad, but in my suburb, on a Friday morning and a guy comes up and asks me what kind of truck? Not unusual for me and I tell him a TB. He looks it over, compliments me on it and then asks......"You headed to Utah?"

WTF....I mean most people getting gas in Indy, away from the interstate, are usually headed to Utah on Friday mornings????? I just drove away.

 

[jbones]

Early in my military career I was having dinner at a friend’s house in Imperial Beach, CA, where his wife served up some fine home cooking. She had got up to clear some things from the table and that’s when I said something stupid!

I swear she was pregnant! Man she looked like she was ready to pop. So I popped the question, “when are you due” Oh hell! Well first off my buddy looked like he was in shock, no color in his face, and she, fire red, not a happy camper! I got a very stern and reassuring “I’ AM NOT FUCKING PREGNANT” I was speechless. Only mintes later I made the excuse that I had the balls-eight watch and wanted to get back to the barracks for a few hours sleep. Yep, I skipped desert.

He and I remained friends at work, just never invited over for dinner again.

 

[Uncle Blazer]

You headed to Utah?"

That is farking hilarious. I might borrow that the next time i am at the pump and somebody tries to make small talk.

Them: "Can you believe how hot it is?"
Me: "Nope, thats why I am headed to Utah"

OR

Them: "Can you believe how hot it is?"
Me: "Sure is hot. You headed to Utah?"

 

[Denali n DOO]

Ha Ha Ha, I'm still laughing. I'll try to make this short. So the neighbor dude across the road that puts on his signal to back out of the driveway . He basically has a two car side by side driveway with a sidewalk near the bottom and a single garage. Last year he got one of those big bags of soil delivered, 4'x4'x4', for gardening. It gets put at the top of the driveway and he takes wheel barrows full from this big bag to his garden. They only end up to use half the bag. This was last spring, the half bag of soil has sat there forever, he keeps backing up to the bag close enough so the side walk is always clear. He's shoveled snow around, shingled a roof around but it still stayed there. Until the other day that is . So I hear a big comotion goining on outside and run out to see whats up. I look across the road and dummys wife is pulling the van out of the driveway with that great big bag of soil in tow . He must have backed onto in far enough this time that it hooked itself on the under carriage. He's running down the street after her waiving his arms yelling about the bag. She just keeps on driving . He comes back and jumps in the other van and takes off after her. I look up and down the street and notice neighbors to the left were out looking and 2 sets of neighbors to the right were also looking. Too funny this was. We're all standing around out front of our houses waiting to see what happens next , all of a sudden coming from the opposite direction in which she left comes the van over the hill with the sound of the bag dragging back behind, leaving a trail of dirt behind because the bag had wore through . So shes pulls the van with bag in tow into the driveway, van in front of garage and soil bag near side walk. He pulls up in his van, jumps out and disconnected the bag from underneath the other van. He manages to wiggle the van out and around the bag, he drives up onto the grass and backs up to the bag, hooks the bag handle on his tow hitch and attemps to pull the bag off the driveway and onto the grass. As he accelerates to pull the bag, the bottom of the bag breaks and he dumps the remainder of the soil in the driveway where it was sitting . Wow, such entertainment!!! He came out around midnite to move the rest of the soil off his driveway and to his gardens.

 

[Denali n DOO]

I listen to the police scanner ALL the time, it's always on. So a couple weeks back a female leaves a party drunk, someone at the party called police and reported her. A few minutes later she gets pulled over and has to do a breathalyzer. She fails the test and gets charged for impaired. The police call a tow truck to come get the car, it gets impounded for a week. Meanwhile she calls her boyfriend to tell him what happened. He gets in his car and arrives at the scene, almost rear ending the police car. Within minutes he is doing a breathalizer test too! He gets charged for impaired driving and now his car is towed away too! Wow, what a lesson for those two.

What I can't believe is why her FRIENDS let her leave in the first place ? Nice friends!!!

 

[jrSS]

My buddy at work lost his only sibling (sister) due to drug o.d. He is pretty down about it and has missed a week of work. (Don't blame him). So we bought him a sympathy card to show that we care. Anyway all 30 or so of us signed it...as it gets to the owner of our company he signed it "Happy b-day". Wtf...REALLy? The front of the card stated "we are sorry for ur loss...blah blah blah.. WTF. To make things worse they tried to white it out..but turn it around and look into the light u can still read it....so 30 or so of us signed a new sympathy card.

 

[Voymom]

Neighbor came over the other day and asked for some foil. We gladly lended her ours, and later she came to bring the foil back and had a bag of chex mix. 2 days later she is back at my door....

Neighbor- Do you have any powdered sugar?

Me- Nope, I sure don't

Neighbor- Oh shoot...well do you have any confectioner's sugar?

Me- Nope....you know it is the same thing right?

Neighbor- No it isn't....is it?

Me- Searches confectioner's sugar on the android and pulls up wiki. Sure enough it had a sentence that said it is commonly known as powdered sugar.

Neighbor-

 

[Denali n DOO]

I'm gonna tell about my 10 year old son's day of school yesterday. In my opinion the teacher is dumb because 3 boys were all messing around and she only punishes my son. It's like she does this for spite because I have pointed it out to her before with other incidents.

So yesterday after school my son Michael walks to his locker to get his stuff and come home. His classmate's Kaden and Hunter are standing beside their locker making the motions of humping each other. As my son walks past them he says "Your both Gay" . The story goes that 2 girls in the hallway heard what Michael said to Kaden and Hunter and went back to class and told the teacher. Michael gets pulled back into class and is told that he has to write an apology letter to Kaden, a letter to Hunter and a letter to the class, apologizing for saying " Your both Gay". Kaden and Hunter went home and nothing was said to them. WTF???

So I told Michael to write a letter to Kaden and a letter to Hunter but not a letter to the class, doesn't seem appropriate to me. I was gonna help him and tell him to start the letters off with "Sorry to hear your gay and saying it out loud so other people could hear it...." My wife says, NO...just let him write his own letters! This morning I saw the letter's he wrote and haven't stopped laughing yet These are in his own words and spelling...

Letter to Hunter, "To hunter from Michael. Sorry for calling you gay when you humped Kaden. Sorry and it was inapropreat sorry"


Letter to Kaden, "To Kaden from Michael. Sorry kaden for calling you and hunter gay when hunter humped you sorry

Kaden and I wont do that again im not doing that again because it was inapropreat"

I think he did a good job on the letters and it shows how dumb the whole thing really is. We had to sign the letters and I sent a note to the teacher to call us and provide some more information as to why he should write a letter to the class.

 

[Denali n DOO]

Ha Ha, so back to the neighbor across the road , he cleaned off the van windshield and side windows, leaves it warming up with the wipers running. But because he is parked facing downhill and gravity rules, when he gets in and slams the door the roof decides to clean itself Hope the wipers still work...

I just had to run in the house n get the camera! I'm sure he hates it when he see's me with the camera. I think that's why he usually works on his vehicles in the driveway at midnight wearing with a miner's light on his forehead.

I always clean all the snow off as I've seen this happen many times at traffic lights when people stop hard and haven't cleaned the snow off the roof.

 

[twinners]

I have now 7 year old twin girls and the things people could come up with. The conversations would generally go like this:

Are they twins?
Yes.
Are they both yours?
(Walk away).

Are they twins?
Yes.
Are they the same age?
(Walk away)

When both all pinked up.
Are they twins?
Yes.
Are they both girls?
(Walk away)