Blckshdw
Moderator
You don't have to undo the harness any more than you already have. The fender ground is fine, there should be grounds on the plugs that go into the ballast. (the black wire...) Most relay harnesses I've seen have a length of black wire, and then a ring terminal on the end for a total of 3. One for each ballast, and one for the relay. If you've got a pair of free floating ground ring terminals that aren't connected, that explains your issue with the relay turning on/off, but no juice at the ballasts.