Best stock / value for $ solution is going to be Matt's. But if you don't like that one, here are some others...
- Get some nitrile / latex gloves. These are actually good for other car maintenance tasks, too.
Besides making cleanup (of you) a lot easier, you avoid carcinogens in the used oil (but unless you're an FT oil change tech, I really don't think there's much to worry about.)
- Make some changes to your procedure:
- Drain your sump into the pan, then reattach the drain plug.
- Get a rag, shop towel, etc., and drape it over the crossmember. You can use something placed on top (extension, socket, etc.) to hold the towel in place
- Move the drain pan close to your arm (but not directly under, as you need to turn the filter with your arm / wrist -- especially if you don't use a cap or strap wrench.)
- Once you get the filter loosened just a bit (before the seepage starts), move the pan directly under the filter. Turn the filter off, and when you can feel it detaching from the thread boss, turn it over and drain into the pan. This does require a little dexterity.
- When sufficiently drained, turn filter so drain holes are facing back upward, and grab the rag / towel from the crossmember. Use that to wipe the outside of the filter and place it on the floor, etc., then place the filter 'holes up' on the rag.
- If you really want to be neat about it, having the box for the new one handy provides a good place to put the old one into, after you get the new one on (don't forget to lube the rubber seal! And dipping into the used oil is fine for this)
- With the pan out of the way, along with the filter, use the towel / rag again to wipe the crossmember & anywhere else needed. But there should be very little in the way of spillage, if you weren't working haphazardly.
I've used all of these steps at different times, until I got the hang of the particular vehicle I was working on. I'll say that the Envoy's crossmember, relative to the filter (I have the V8, like you) is in a troublesome place, and it's nearly impossible to get the filter off without tilting it (and spilling in the process). And I have smallish hands, too. I imagine it's even worse for those with big mitts. What I
can say is that I have very little mess after my oil changes, after I've done a couple, and have seen 'what works'. My hangup is getting it on the garage floor, so I can understand your anguish.
Now... there's one more option that I can think of. It'll cost some $$ and time to set it up, but you'll never have to worry about that filter spilling again...
- Get a LS-based oil filter relocation kit and install it.