GM Customer Svc [satire thread]

[Aarkon]

How much would it cost to put leds in my exhaust and have it fluctuate with the pressure?

 

[Mounce]

Hahaha "for the love of cake"
but yeah that guy will argue till my fingers fall off from replying to him.
And it'll be a good day when TV finally goes down. Man, imagine the biblical flood of people coming here from there.

 

[Mounce]

How much would it cost to put leds in my exhaust and have it fluctuate with the pressure?

Roughly 3mil. I'll do it for free though.

 

[Aarkon]

Idk I only trust the dealership[emoji48]

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

You probably need a new car. I can set up a test drive at a local dealer.

 

[Sparky]

You probably need a new car. I can set up a test drive at a local dealer.

Cat's out of the bag! Trailz is the GM customer service dude!

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

The new Fusion is nice but the F series may be more to your liking...

 

[Sparky]

What other 4 letter word begins with the letter F?

 

[MAY03LT]

Ecoboost just kicked in yo.

 

[GM Customer Svc]

How
much would it cost to put leds in my exhaust and have it fluctuate with the pressure?

Fuck LEDS. Inject fuel past the cat and burn it in a Ruben's tube design. GM lawyers disapprove of this but I'm finding ways to hide my posts from them.

http://youtu.be/HpovwbPGEoo

 

[Mounce]

That's one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

 

[Trios]

That's one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

 

[Mounce]

That's one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

are you saying I'm stupid?

 

[Trios]

D'uhhh....

are you saying I'm stupid?

?

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Mr. GM SVC .... will plastidipping my brakes void my warranty?

 

[24v 4.2]

Mr. GM SVC .... will plastidipping my brakes void my warranty?

Also, would it Void the warranty to plastidip my windshield and Ace Ventura around town?

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Also, would it Void the warranty to plastidip my windshield and Ace Ventura around town?

It does not void it but proper install of plastidip requires leaving all windows up and guessing where you are going

 

[Fire06]

Red wire is for a external spot light

 

[Darkrider_LS]

Dont touch the red wire! Your gmt may blow up!

 

[Fire06]

May be it might be the lead for the flux capacitor

 

[Mounce]

No no no. The red wire is for trailer brakes and should always be unhooked if you're not towing a trailer.

 

[Trios]

I just feel the need to do this for future posterity.

IF ANYONE EVER COMES UPON THIS THREAD WHEN SEARCHING FOR INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR GMT, PLEASE DO NOT BELIEVE A DAMN WORD OF ANYTHING HERE. THIS IS A SATIRE THREAD AND ALL INFORMATION BEING PUT OUT IS BOGUS. THESE ARE NOT THE ANSWERS YOU'RE LOOKING FOR. YOU CAN GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS. MOVE ALONG.

 

[Ghoster]

Every time I see your username I think of this.

 

[Trios]

Yumm. I can be some signature shrimp if you want me to be....

 

[MAY03LT]

My dealer told me they can't clean the throttle body because the shop manual says not to.

 

[IllogicTC]

No no no. The red wire is for trailer brakes and should always be unhooked if you're not towing a trailer.

No the red wire is just a useless thing that was installed in all 360/70/05s but only had the other end hooked up in government vehicles. It was the new version of the "big red button" which made the vehicle self-destruct, as previous models that actually had a big red button were often blowing up unnecessarily as big red buttons just look very enticing.

 

[GM Customer Svc]

Mr. GM SVC .... will plastidipping my brakes void my warranty?

Mr. GM SVC? MR? Do *I* sound like I'm a Mr? My name is Areyelle, and my Teammates on the Social Media Flack Group are Cyan, Fyfye, Jossilynne, and Trynnitee. We can all thumb-type at 100 WPM. And you ain't getting any of that.

For that insult, I have arranged for whatever warranty you had left to be cancelled and nulled out.

Also, would it Void the warranty to plastidip my windshield and Ace Ventura around town?

Another one with no warranty. Why bother asking?

Red wire is for a external spot light

Dont touch the red wire! Your gmt may blow up!

May be it might be the lead for the flux capacitor

No no no. The red wire is for trailer brakes and should always be unhooked if you're not towing a trailer.

Finally, the right answer! My good friend loverotties on my favorite site trailvoy assures me he know what he's talking about and all you guys are asshats.

My dealer told me they can't clean the throttle body because the shop manual says not to.

That can't possibly be true. Dealers have no access to shop manuals and they wouldn't be allowed to read them even if they did because who would be paying for that training downtime? Huh? Huh? No answer, smartypants? They are allowed to ONLY hook up their Tech II after you swipe your credit card on the side of the unit to unlock it for $95/30 minute periods. Erratic idle doesn't throw a code, so that's obviously a problem they can't diagnose because the Tech II has no clue. That will be $95 please.

 

[Mounce]

Hahaha dumbrotties. He's the asshat.

 

[Aarkon]

my tire needs some air do i need to go to the original dealer to get stock air or would any gm dealer be ok cause i heard that if i got to some other places like a porsche dealer and use theirs sometimes you get a boost in performance

 

[GM Customer Svc]

my tire needs some air do i need to go to the original dealer to get stock air or would any gm dealer be ok cause i heard that if i got to some other places like a porsche dealer and use theirs sometimes you get a boost in performance

Aarkon,

We are very sorry to hear that your tires have lost their air. Unfortunately, due to the construction of your tyres, air is not able to be added. Normally, I would recommend a full tiar replacement for your vehicle, but in the case of your Trailblazer, we no longer produce the proper air for those tiears. In this case, you will need a replacement vehicle.

Please send me your name, phone number, and credit card information and I will schedule you a visit at your local GM dealer to get your Trailblazer replaced.

 

[Aarkon]

Aarkon,

We are very sorry to hear that your tires have lost their air. Unfortunately, due to the construction of your tyres, air is not able to be added. Normally, I would recommend a full tiar replacement for your vehicle, but in the case of your Trailblazer, we no longer produce the proper air for those tiears. In this case, you will need a replacement vehicle.

Please send me your name, phone number, and credit card information and I will schedule you a visit at your local GM dealer to get your Trailblazer replaced.

Yep ill get right on that!

 

[Mounce]

I recently found an "underground" source for trailblazer tire air. It's another GM customer service rep that stole the special multi million dollar machines that produce such air. You can get one tire filled to spec for one low price of $33k. It's well worth the money.

 

[GM Customer Svc]

I recently found an "underground" source for trailblazer tire air. It's another GM customer service rep that stole the special multi million dollar machines that produce such air. You can get one tire filled to spec for one low price of $33k. It's well worth the money.

I knew we wouldn't be able to trust Cyan.

Thank you for pointing this out, we have sealed this leak up tight. Please be sure to bring any other leaks of Trailblazer tire air to our attention.

And, a note to everyone: Envoy tire air is in short supply, so if you have an Envoy, go to your local dealer and fill up now! Only $775 per tire with my special offer (again, you will need to PM me your username, password, bank account info, credit card number and security code, and your password hint answers to get the coupon code for this air). Sorry to all the Trailblazer owners out there who have to buy a new truck, but just think about that new car smell.

If you own a Saab, we'll sell you a new one of those too. Somehow.

 

[Mounce]

How about I just add you on to my bank account and whenever I need something you can just go withdraw the money and fix it for me?

 

[GM Customer Svc]

That is an acceptable compromise.

 

[MAY03LT]

Can I use Envoy air in my spare? It's a steelie spare and I think it was put on both the TBs and Envoys. I've PM'd you my VIN, along with the other credentials.

 

[Darkrider_LS]

This service rep sounds like he/she has a real purty mouth....

 

[GrizzlyDippah]

^^ haha love this

 

[GM Customer Svc]

This service rep sounds like he/she has a real purty mouth....

Why thank you. That's the first compliment I've received on these forums!

I knew that there would be some good people here if I just continued to try my hardest to be the best Customer Service rep you could find!

 

[Fire06]

Are you sure the red wire is not for the Flux Capacitor???