Trailblazer SS wrecks...

harmless

Original poster
Member
Nov 21, 2011
2,049
I wanna start!! I wanna start!! :poke:

Let the pain begin with mine! :quiverlips:

-----------------------------------------------------------

09/13/2009...

So, yah. I'm heading to a custom shop to pick up some parts I ordered and Mrs. Karma decides to kicks me in the nuts as I pass by.

A black benz apparently twitched because of some kids standing on the middle island (jaywalking) and slowed right down. A silver CRV just about rear-ends her. The old (80's ish) pickup I was following stopped hard and hit the CRV a little. I was on top of them all before I could even stop. I couldn't even evade - I had a big ford on the right side of me, and I sure as hell wasn't headin' towards the center median where them kids were (though, in retrospect, I probably should have... A few less tards on the planet probably wouldn't have hurt anything...). Brace for impact! The pickup was haulin' furniture. It's tailgate was propped at a 45 degree angle and caught the grille smack in the middle. I accordioned his tailgate and drove it into the ground along with his trailer hitch. I'd safely assume his frame is screwed, considering it now looks like a roofing truss. I also knocked all the mud and rust clean off the mofo. I think my right headlight was worth more than that rustbucket. Anyways, I hit him, he again hit the CRV, and she gave the benz a little kiss. 4 car trainwreck during rush hour. Great way to end a Friday afternoon.

Hold on though... This is where it gets entertaining.

The passenger of the truck looses her mind. Litterally. She comes out of there screaming, threatening to kill me and calling me a whole bunch of not-so-friendly names. I take out my I.D. and cuffs, wave them at her and yell back to her that what she's doing isn't very bright (I stayed in the TBSS). Doesn't phase her. Talk about animal rage. She pulls out this 8 to 10 inch screwdriver from the truck and again threatens to kill me. At this point in time I call 911 (to have them record the issue, and hurry the cops up). She put the screwdriver damn near clean through the windshield on the passenger's side. Then she tries to open the passenger door - it's locked - so she give it her boot - and leaves a nice dent. She then tries to get into the SS via the back hatch. Instead of using the door latch, she pulls on the wiper blade. Yeah, that'll need replacing too now.

So once she's done remodeling those sides of the SS, she finds her way to my door. At this point I have no freggin' clue where that screwdriver is and I tell dispatch that if she comes after me, I'm puttin the phone down and defending myself. Mrs. Dispatch (who has no obvious clue about dangerous situations and laws) tells me that I shouldn't do that. (And what, take a screwdriver in the chest and call it a day?) I tell her that ain't happening. So squirrel lady manages to pry the door open (*sigh* here we go) and moves into my personal space. At this point, I had my maglight in hand I point at her with it and tell her to get the f$@* out the truck before I knock her senseless. That kinda worked. For reasons only peanuts will know, squirrel girl opened my driver's back door and start pulling my son's car seat out. I've had it at this point and I step out the truck and again and tell her that she's out of warnings and there's a world of hurt coming her way.

Luckily for her, one of my co-workers happened to drive by, saw squirrel girls' antics and came to assist. Shortly thereafter, a few squad cars of police showed up too. Nice. The cavalry is here. They drag fruit & nuts to the other side of the road and tell her to sit - 2 officers stay with her as she's now giving them a hard time.

The cleanup begins.

The benz and CRV drove away (after the cops let them leave), the pickup looks nasty but technically can still be driven.

The SS bled out where she sat.

It was nice to have the cops & tow truck drivers show respect for the SS. Made me feel a little better.

Tally: Rear-ended an 80's pickup (and wrote that bastard off). Being the over-achiever that I am, I also took two other vehicles along with that pickup (gotta love pileups). Total carnage - 4 vehicles (two got to drive home). 18G of damage to my ride.

Owies.
ING-BEAUPRE-06TRAILBLAZER001.jpg


Ooo the humanity.... (or was that hugemanatee?)
ING-BEAUPRE-06TRAILBLAZER002.jpg


I got screwed right there...
ING-BEAUPRE-06TRAILBLAZER004.jpg


I think she wore army boots... Size 9.
ING-BEAUPRE-06TRAILBLAZER005.jpg


New door-latch mod - AKA wiper opener. O_o
ING-BEAUPRE-06TRAILBLAZER009.jpg


And well, we all know how well she rose from those ashes!!

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:salivate: :celebrate: :inlove:
 
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ItsOnVoy

Member
Nov 21, 2011
2,401
Dang always sucks to see a nice truck broken up :frown:

I like that two color look!! You should make your bow tie silver :yes:
 

harmless

Original poster
Member
Nov 21, 2011
2,049
ItsOnVoy said:
Dang always sucks to see a nice truck broken up :frown:

I like that two color look!! You should make your bow tie silver :yes:

Her bowties have always been silver. Ish. It was my second mod after installing a sound system.
 

ItsOnVoy

Member
Nov 21, 2011
2,401
harmless said:
Her bowties have always been silver. Ish. It was my second mod after installing a sound system.

Your right!! I did not see that for some reason lol
 

Regulator

Member
Nov 20, 2011
2,496
Sounds like a lot of fun. There are a few mid west folks that I would be interested to see what their reaction would have been. :biggrin:
 

HARDTRAILZ

Moderator
Nov 18, 2011
49,665
I had forgot about the nutjob w the screwdriver. When she went for my door a .357 woulda made her think twice and play nice or end up cold as ice.
 
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harmless

Original poster
Member
Nov 21, 2011
2,049
HARDTRAILZ said:
I had forgot about the nutjob w the screwdriver. When she went for my door a .357 woulda made her think twice and play nice or end up cold as ice.

Trust me, if we were able to carry up here, I'd have plugged her a few times... just to make a point. Two kneecaps and an arm. :hissyfit:
 
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JRTAHOE

Member
Nov 20, 2011
848
harmless said:
Trust me, if we were able to carry up here, I'd have plugged her a few times... just to make a point. Two kneecaps and an arm. :hissyfit:

I don't think airsoft guns would have scared her off. :raspberry:
 

Regulator

Member
Nov 20, 2011
2,496
harmless said:
Trust me, if we were able to carry up here, I'd have plugged her a few times... just to make a point. Two kneecaps and an arm. :hissyfit:

Seriously!!! Who taught your concealed carry classes?

The first rule of self defense is that A dead man can't testify against you! It is a lot easier to prove self defense when your the only one telling the story!

Shoot to kill, that is the only way to go about it.
 

HARDTRAILZ

Moderator
Nov 18, 2011
49,665
Regulator said:
Seriously!!! Who taught your concealed carry classes?

The first rule of self defense is that A dead man can't testify against you! It is a lot easier to prove self defense when your the only one telling the story!

Shoot to kill, that is the only way to go about it.

Damn right! I had a cop tell me to drop em and make sure they were found inside your house, even if the corpse needed motivated to be there.
 

harmless

Original poster
Member
Nov 21, 2011
2,049
07 TB RIDER said:
I don't think airsoft guns would have scared her off. :raspberry:

We're not allowed to carry those either. :lipsrsealed:

Regulator said:
Seriously!!! Who taught your concealed carry classes?

The first rule of self defense is that A dead man can't testify against you! It is a lot easier to prove self defense when your the only one telling the story!

Shoot to kill, that is the only way to go about it.

HARDTRAILZ said:
Damn right! I had a cop tell me to drop em and make sure they were found inside your house, even if the corpse needed motivated to be there.

We don't carry. We're not allowed to. I would have started with the kneecaps and arms. Take away their chance to fight and run. Scare them, make them cry and regret getting out of bed that morning. Have a smoke beside them, on the pavement, in a Deniro or Scarface type way, then as you get up to leave you plug one into the forhead. Can't let them suffer for too long. That's just mean.

Seriously though, I think after the squirrel tried to pry open the driver's door, a bullet would have gone through her skull. She would have had fair warning by then.
 

Voymom

Member
Feb 3, 2012
2,523
harmless said:
We're not allowed to carry those either. :lipsrsealed:





We don't carry. We're not allowed to. I would have started with the kneecaps and arms. Take away their chance to fight and run. Scare them, make them cry and regret getting out of bed that morning. Have a smoke beside them, on the pavement, in a Deniro or Scarface type way, then as you get up to leave you plug one into the forhead. Can't let them suffer for too long. That's just mean.

Seriously though, I think after the squirrel tried to pry open the driver's door, a bullet would have gone through her skull. She would have had fair warning by then.

I just HAD to say, that if I were not allowed to carry whether open or concealed(Which I do both) I would move the F%*^%^# out of whatever state/country I were in. My life and being able to protect myself and my family is #1. I would not hesitate to drop someone permanently if they ever threatened my life. Fortunately Iowa just passed the new concealed law :wootwoot: so now I can hide it!!

But on a second note, that squirrel would need some MAJOR dental work had she came up on me and I was not carrying, I still would not hesitate to whoop the piss out of her, or anyone for that matter lol. People can be so ignorant at times, accidents happen....Guess she didn't wear her big girl panties that day huh? And sorry for waking the dead, your story got my blood pumping :hissyfit:
 
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harmless

Original poster
Member
Nov 21, 2011
2,049
Appreciate that...

In my line of work, you quickly learn to grow thick skin and measure your actions. It's probably the only thing that saved her.

But worry you not, *had* she crossed "that" line, she'd have been quickly dropped - and at the outset, she realized it.

At the end of the day, I got harmless back. I hope life's treating her a little better.
 

mapanch

Member
Dec 2, 2011
333
harmless said:
Appreciate that...

In my line of work, you quickly learn to grow thick skin and measure your actions. It's probably the only thing that saved her.

But worry you not, *had* she crossed "that" line, she'd have been quickly dropped - and at the outset, she realized it.

At the end of the day, I got harmless back. I hope life's treating her a little better.

Your a prison guard right?
 

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