- Nov 21, 2011
- 2,049
I wanna start!! I wanna start!! 
Let the pain begin with mine!
-----------------------------------------------------------
09/13/2009...
So, yah. I'm heading to a custom shop to pick up some parts I ordered and Mrs. Karma decides to kicks me in the nuts as I pass by.
A black benz apparently twitched because of some kids standing on the middle island (jaywalking) and slowed right down. A silver CRV just about rear-ends her. The old (80's ish) pickup I was following stopped hard and hit the CRV a little. I was on top of them all before I could even stop. I couldn't even evade - I had a big ford on the right side of me, and I sure as hell wasn't headin' towards the center median where them kids were (though, in retrospect, I probably should have... A few less tards on the planet probably wouldn't have hurt anything...). Brace for impact! The pickup was haulin' furniture. It's tailgate was propped at a 45 degree angle and caught the grille smack in the middle. I accordioned his tailgate and drove it into the ground along with his trailer hitch. I'd safely assume his frame is screwed, considering it now looks like a roofing truss. I also knocked all the mud and rust clean off the mofo. I think my right headlight was worth more than that rustbucket. Anyways, I hit him, he again hit the CRV, and she gave the benz a little kiss. 4 car trainwreck during rush hour. Great way to end a Friday afternoon.
Hold on though... This is where it gets entertaining.
The passenger of the truck looses her mind. Litterally. She comes out of there screaming, threatening to kill me and calling me a whole bunch of not-so-friendly names. I take out my I.D. and cuffs, wave them at her and yell back to her that what she's doing isn't very bright (I stayed in the TBSS). Doesn't phase her. Talk about animal rage. She pulls out this 8 to 10 inch screwdriver from the truck and again threatens to kill me. At this point in time I call 911 (to have them record the issue, and hurry the cops up). She put the screwdriver damn near clean through the windshield on the passenger's side. Then she tries to open the passenger door - it's locked - so she give it her boot - and leaves a nice dent. She then tries to get into the SS via the back hatch. Instead of using the door latch, she pulls on the wiper blade. Yeah, that'll need replacing too now.
So once she's done remodeling those sides of the SS, she finds her way to my door. At this point I have no freggin' clue where that screwdriver is and I tell dispatch that if she comes after me, I'm puttin the phone down and defending myself. Mrs. Dispatch (who has no obvious clue about dangerous situations and laws) tells me that I shouldn't do that. (And what, take a screwdriver in the chest and call it a day?) I tell her that ain't happening. So squirrel lady manages to pry the door open (*sigh* here we go) and moves into my personal space. At this point, I had my maglight in hand I point at her with it and tell her to get the f$@* out the truck before I knock her senseless. That kinda worked. For reasons only peanuts will know, squirrel girl opened my driver's back door and start pulling my son's car seat out. I've had it at this point and I step out the truck and again and tell her that she's out of warnings and there's a world of hurt coming her way.
Luckily for her, one of my co-workers happened to drive by, saw squirrel girls' antics and came to assist. Shortly thereafter, a few squad cars of police showed up too. Nice. The cavalry is here. They drag fruit & nuts to the other side of the road and tell her to sit - 2 officers stay with her as she's now giving them a hard time.
The cleanup begins.
The benz and CRV drove away (after the cops let them leave), the pickup looks nasty but technically can still be driven.
The SS bled out where she sat.
It was nice to have the cops & tow truck drivers show respect for the SS. Made me feel a little better.
Tally: Rear-ended an 80's pickup (and wrote that bastard off). Being the over-achiever that I am, I also took two other vehicles along with that pickup (gotta love pileups). Total carnage - 4 vehicles (two got to drive home). 18G of damage to my ride.
Owies.
Ooo the humanity.... (or was that hugemanatee?)
I got screwed right there...
I think she wore army boots... Size 9.
New door-latch mod - AKA wiper opener. O_o
And well, we all know how well she rose from those ashes!!
Let the pain begin with mine!
-----------------------------------------------------------
09/13/2009...
So, yah. I'm heading to a custom shop to pick up some parts I ordered and Mrs. Karma decides to kicks me in the nuts as I pass by.
A black benz apparently twitched because of some kids standing on the middle island (jaywalking) and slowed right down. A silver CRV just about rear-ends her. The old (80's ish) pickup I was following stopped hard and hit the CRV a little. I was on top of them all before I could even stop. I couldn't even evade - I had a big ford on the right side of me, and I sure as hell wasn't headin' towards the center median where them kids were (though, in retrospect, I probably should have... A few less tards on the planet probably wouldn't have hurt anything...). Brace for impact! The pickup was haulin' furniture. It's tailgate was propped at a 45 degree angle and caught the grille smack in the middle. I accordioned his tailgate and drove it into the ground along with his trailer hitch. I'd safely assume his frame is screwed, considering it now looks like a roofing truss. I also knocked all the mud and rust clean off the mofo. I think my right headlight was worth more than that rustbucket. Anyways, I hit him, he again hit the CRV, and she gave the benz a little kiss. 4 car trainwreck during rush hour. Great way to end a Friday afternoon.
Hold on though... This is where it gets entertaining.
The passenger of the truck looses her mind. Litterally. She comes out of there screaming, threatening to kill me and calling me a whole bunch of not-so-friendly names. I take out my I.D. and cuffs, wave them at her and yell back to her that what she's doing isn't very bright (I stayed in the TBSS). Doesn't phase her. Talk about animal rage. She pulls out this 8 to 10 inch screwdriver from the truck and again threatens to kill me. At this point in time I call 911 (to have them record the issue, and hurry the cops up). She put the screwdriver damn near clean through the windshield on the passenger's side. Then she tries to open the passenger door - it's locked - so she give it her boot - and leaves a nice dent. She then tries to get into the SS via the back hatch. Instead of using the door latch, she pulls on the wiper blade. Yeah, that'll need replacing too now.
So once she's done remodeling those sides of the SS, she finds her way to my door. At this point I have no freggin' clue where that screwdriver is and I tell dispatch that if she comes after me, I'm puttin the phone down and defending myself. Mrs. Dispatch (who has no obvious clue about dangerous situations and laws) tells me that I shouldn't do that. (And what, take a screwdriver in the chest and call it a day?) I tell her that ain't happening. So squirrel lady manages to pry the door open (*sigh* here we go) and moves into my personal space. At this point, I had my maglight in hand I point at her with it and tell her to get the f$@* out the truck before I knock her senseless. That kinda worked. For reasons only peanuts will know, squirrel girl opened my driver's back door and start pulling my son's car seat out. I've had it at this point and I step out the truck and again and tell her that she's out of warnings and there's a world of hurt coming her way.
Luckily for her, one of my co-workers happened to drive by, saw squirrel girls' antics and came to assist. Shortly thereafter, a few squad cars of police showed up too. Nice. The cavalry is here. They drag fruit & nuts to the other side of the road and tell her to sit - 2 officers stay with her as she's now giving them a hard time.
The cleanup begins.
The benz and CRV drove away (after the cops let them leave), the pickup looks nasty but technically can still be driven.
The SS bled out where she sat.
It was nice to have the cops & tow truck drivers show respect for the SS. Made me feel a little better.
Tally: Rear-ended an 80's pickup (and wrote that bastard off). Being the over-achiever that I am, I also took two other vehicles along with that pickup (gotta love pileups). Total carnage - 4 vehicles (two got to drive home). 18G of damage to my ride.
Owies.
Ooo the humanity.... (or was that hugemanatee?)
I got screwed right there...
I think she wore army boots... Size 9.
New door-latch mod - AKA wiper opener. O_o
And well, we all know how well she rose from those ashes!!
