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[Blackwater]

Likes wearing thongs on his head when racing snails.

 

[Mooseman]

Is a member of the forum www.thongcreeps.com

 

[Blackwater]

Is the owner to that site and invites others to join him.

 

[Redbeard]

Boycotts shampoo. Demands real poo.

 

[Blackwater]

Boycotts toilet paper and uses his underwear to wipe.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Gives himself swirlies daily to style his hair

 

[Mooseman]

Gives himself back rubs.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Occasionally goes flyfishing in the desert

 

[Mooseman]

Can fling toe jam 12 feet with his hammer toe.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Built a house out of straw

 

[Mooseman]

Made his own run-flat tires by filling them with cement.

 

[Redbeard]

Wears a tee shirt that says "Life" and hands out lemons on street corner.

 

[Mooseman]

Blames everything on his twin brother that hasn't seen the light of day since 1993.

 

[Redbeard]

While out shopping today he saw a snooty looking women at the grocery store, and he pretended to need something and to say and said, "excuse me, do you work here?" just to help keep things real.

 

[Blackwater]

Gives himself swirlies daily to style his hair

that would work if I wasn't bald.

dyes his nose and ear hair to match his beard.

 

[Redbeard]

Imports Oriental rugs…sells the finest toupees made in hong kong.

 

[Blackwater]

Imports Oriental rugs…sells the finest toupees made in hong kong.

LOL, Hong Kong is a 30 min flight from my current location.

Buys those rugs at twice the value and jacks the price 10% to sell to others.

 

[Mooseman]

Tried to put a live beaver as a hat on his head.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Is a huge fan of beavers

 

[Blackwater]

Loves eating beaver.

 

[Redbeard]

says it tastes just like eagle.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Uses condor eggs to make omelets

 

[Redbeard]

Lost his dog once, so he put an ad in the paper and the ad says: "Here boy."

 

[Blackwater]

Put an ad in the personals with his picture with "need a companion" as the headline and a golden retriever showed up.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Once got whooped in a female MMA fight

 

[Mooseman]

Catalogs each blade of grass he cuts and puts them in storage big ass commercial freezer "just in case...."

 

[Redbeard]

Trailblazer owner: "The trailblazer is making a weird knocking noise, Mooseman."

TB owner: What does it sound like to you?..."

Mooseman : "OPPORTUNITY."

 

[Blackwater]

Once got whooped in a female MMA fight

It wasn't fair, she warmed up on you and I was laughing too hard.

Trailblazer owner: "The trailblazer is making a weird knocking noise, Mooseman."

TB owner: What does it sound like to you?..."

Mooseman : "OPPORTUNITY."

Loves messing with Moose sausage.

 

[Redbeard]

secretly sends undercover agents to gather evidence about mooseman. Here's their latest photo.

 

[Blackwater]

They also recovered Redbeard's baby picture.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Loves to eat yellow snow

 

[Redbeard]

learning how to shoot and drive at the same time...

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Once ate 43 cheeseburgers to win a contest in girlscouts

 

[Blackwater]

Once had his feathers removed by Smurfs. They used them to tar and feather Gargamel.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Calls 911 on the neighbors for not mowing their lawn

 

[Redbeard]

His parents are still in the scariest hood they have ever been in since he was born.
Parenthood.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Did three pushups and passed out cold from exertion

 

[Blackwater]

Drives around with binoculars scoping out the chicks.

 

[HARDTRAILZ]

Lives off bacon and budweiser so he will likely live forever

 

[Redbeard]

His teacher once pointed a ruler at him and said: "At the end of this ruler there's an idiot!"

He got detention after asking which end.