Lets break it down here. This is what the starter relay terminals are:
(shamelessly stolen from May03LT)
View attachment 81484
- Fuse 34, you should have 12v+ at all times.
- Fuse 22, you should get 12v+ when you turn the key to run/crank.
- At the starter relay terminal 86, you should have 12v+ at all times (fuse34)
- At relay terminal 87, you should have 12v+ when you turn the key to run/crank (from fuse 22 and neutral switch)
- At relay terminal 85, you should get ground only when the key is turned to crank (from the PCM)
- The last remaining relay terminal 30, you should get nothing or ground, which is from the starter solenoid.
If the Park/Neutral switch is open (not in park/neutral), you will not get 12v+ at relay terminal 87 nor the ground from the PCM to relay terminal 85. Check both.
So if you're getting 12v+ at fuse 22 but not relay 87, the neutral/park switch is the issue.
To test the starter itself, you can jumper from terminal 86 to 30.
Edit: Corrected for fuse 22 power on.